She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
