This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
