take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
