clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
