Heybabeimwearingurpanties
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
