Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
