I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
