I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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