My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
