I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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