No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
