My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I love having hate sex.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
