ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
