all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize