hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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