On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
nutella sex= disaster
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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