I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
