I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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