Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
