pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't deserve a penis
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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