when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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