No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
