Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
