i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I would ride that face into the sunset
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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