She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
