My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it was like eating out sand paper
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
