textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she looked like the before picture.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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