i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
