So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize