dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
