I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
