I just threw up on my dentist
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
