I think i sorta joined a cult last night
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
