would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
