I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
