i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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