I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize