so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
