Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
