I wanna passion pit in your ass
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
