I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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