I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
