Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
