the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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