I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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