I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
