Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
