he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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