are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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