What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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