"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
