You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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