ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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