his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
