Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
