Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
