I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
