she looked like the before picture.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
