Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Randomize
