I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
