Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
