our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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