Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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