I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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