he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
