I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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