I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize