I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
