So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
