A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize