You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize