i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
