May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize