Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
