so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
