it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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