I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
